Sometimes being a stay-at-home mom isn’t as glamorous as it might sound. Scratch that, it is NEVER a glamourous job. Is motherhood rewarding? Sure. Glamourous? No.
If I had a penny every time someone said, “it must be nice!” or “boy, I would love to stay home all day and not have to do anything!” I would be a wealthy woman!
This post will give you great insight as to what a stay-at-home mom goes through on a daily basis. These are the top 10 things I hate about motherhood.
Nothing is mine.
At some point I am sure every parent on earth has said the phrase, “this is why we can’t have anything nice.” Totally applies here.
I buy a decoration for the house, the kids try to play with it. New clothes and makeup, my daughter is playing dressup in it. New furniture becomes a trampoline.
Yep, after 10 years of motherhood I am finally coming to realize that kids are pretty destructive and have a hard time understanding boundaries.
The perpetual exhaustion.
This type of exhaustion sets in when you have a newborn and it never truly gets much better. There will always be someone, something or some reason you can’t get a good nights rest.
People told me it would get better once our kids were a bit older and sleeping through the night. 10 YEARS LATER I am still waiting for that to happen.
However, what did get easier is my ability to cope with the exhaustion.
Here’s a Tip: Accept the fact that you are going to be tired for the next 18 years. Don’t try to fight it or be angry about it. Just own it and keep on truckin’. It will soon become your new normal!
Embrace your inner Mombie!
I am sure most moms are on the same page with me here.
I swear we have extra people we are doing laundry for that I don’t know about!
Mt. Washmore never goes away. It may erode just a little with the help of my trusty washer but then, in the blink of an eye, it has grown another foot or two. *sigh*
I also can’t believe some of the stains that appear on these kids clothes! It’s like they roll around in mud or something, it’s crazy! Thankfully, when I bought our washing machine I read plenty of reviews for it on sites like Appliance Hunter to make sure it was good enough to get out all of the crazy stains. I also had to make sure there was a quick wash feature too so that I could try and conquer Mt. Washmore. For now, it looks like I am being defeated.
While I have made peace with housework for the most part, Mt. Washmore is something I still despise.
Can’t we just live in a nudist camp?
The constant worry.
Before having kids I don’t ever remember worrying about things like I do now. When it was just me it was much easier to shrug things off.
If I only had 20 bucks to last me until payday, no big deal. If my car broke down somewhere, still not a big deal. I could handle these things without much thought or planning.
All this changed when I had our kids. Suddenly, EVERYTHING mattered to me. If our car broke down now, I would need to think of the fastest way to get it repaired or search around knowing I need a car. Endless worry.
There is always something to worry about. It is always in the back of my mind…
…did that bill get paid…
…will I have enough gas to get to the station…
…is my child behind in school…
…are the kids making friends…
…did I make the right decision…
I could go on for days here. My point is no matter how small and insignificant something may seem, when you put in the context of motherhood it turns out to be a bigger issue and it can be exhausting.
Always feeling like I need a break.
Constantly being in the thick of motherhood is hard.
There is so much to do each day.
The kids are fighting, someone gets hurt, another gets sick and I never really get anything done. My husband comes home and asks the dreaded, “what did you do today” while he is looking around at the messy house and crying, sick kids. I know what he’s thinking but I’m just too tired to try to convince him otherwise.
He goes to unwind from his long work day, while I sit and think “it must be nice” to get a break after a long days work.
Then feeling guilty for finally taking said break.
Eventually though, I crack and get to take that long awaited break. A chance to breathe and eat a hot meal…
Only to spend it feeling guilty that I needed to get away from it all. Not only do I feel guilty, but I start worrying about them the second I start to relax.
Guilt for wanting more in life than just being a mom.
Nothing like another ride on the guilt train.
Being pulled in two directions is tough.
On one hand I feel so strongly about my decision to be a stay-at-home mom, but on the other I truly desire to have a career as well. I have dreams that I still want to fulfill and I don’t want to wait until our kids are grown to pursue them.
I miss having regular adult interaction and stimulating my mind.
Feeling “touched out” by the end of the day.
On any given day I have been touched, physically touched, hundreds of times.
This includes hugging, kisses, bedtime cuddles, couch cuddles to read a book, holding hands to cross a street, kids pulling on my clothes to get my attention…
While I love every bit of these exchanges between the kids and I, by the end of the day I am all.touched.out.
Which obviously makes it hard to keep the romance in a marriage alive.
I always feel guilty (there’s that word again!) that I don’t have more of myself to give each day. Try as I might, some days I just can’t.
Everyday feels like an eternity, but the years are flying by.
Our oldest daughter just turned 10. Of course this triggered my motherhood melancholy and I spent the night wondering where time has gone. It seems like only yesterday that I first laid eyes on her and wondered, “how on earth did that head come out of there.”
Then, as that feeling passed and the daily grind took over I was reminded how LONG 24 hours really is. Some days are just long and hard.
But in the grand scheme of things, a day is only a drop in a bucket that fills up way too fast.
Being resident butt wiper and puke cleaner upper.
Finally, save the best for last!
Now that the kids are older I vowed to never wipe another butt again! Okay maybe not NEVER, but certainly not any time soon!
I spent way too much time questioning my existence during the diaper years, “Really? this is what my life has come to? Picking poop out from under my nails and sniffing butts all day?”
This is also why I refuse to babysit. If I wanted another butt to sniff, I would have given birth to one.
With all that said, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Having all these things to complain about is actually a good thing. It means I am an active participant in the lives of our children.
They have a clean, happy home to live in, clean clothes to wear and a mother who gives every ounce of her being to them each day.
If I wasn’t exhausted it would mean that I didn’t do anything all day.
…Or that I didn’t have kids to keep me up at night.
If I didn’t need a break it would mean that I wasn’t spending time with our kids.
I am the mother that I always wanted to be, yet still a human.
Can you relate to anything I have written here? If so let me know in the comments section!